Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
