My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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