Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
