I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
