How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
