Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
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