Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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