Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
