Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
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Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
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She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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