Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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