TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize