There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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