Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
