no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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