Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
