Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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