She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
