What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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