I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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