oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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