Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
