Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
