I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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