in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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