just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
