By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
