Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
honey bunches of taint.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
