hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
