Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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