R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
