oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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