I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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