So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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