i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
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I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
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When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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