Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
In America we eat man semen.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize