Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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