you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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