What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You've changed since you got that strap on
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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