Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
