Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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