I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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