The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I need a beard to bite.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
