A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
