when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
