Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
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Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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