Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
