and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
God I need to hump something, right now.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
