i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
