I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
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