Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
