People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
