Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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