My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
