I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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