i jhust puked up my retainher.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
