Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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