Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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