She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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