Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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