I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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