I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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